Pundittyo

2008-10-25T14:16:00.003+05:30

Aabar Shuru Holo

Aamar kichhu porichito lokjon achhen jaaNra besh kichhudin dhore aamaake target kore taader ekta ichha puron korte chaichhen. TaaNra shobaai aamake jiggyesh korchhen aami keno lekhaar dwaar bondho kore diyechhi bohudin holo. Maane aar kichhui noy, target is to gatecrash, that's all.

Etaa thik je lekha jokha-ta jhhik jhhik kore shuru hoyechhilo jhhok-er maathaye. Taarpor kirokom jaani oi Mumbai local-er jaatrider maatha-r motoh jhhuktey jhhuktey kobe ekdin jhaaNki bondho hoye gelo.

Ei bishaal lombaa explanation-er kaaron khub-i plain and simple. Assuming (i.e. etaa gaadha-r motoh ekta boktobbyo) ekhuno keu aamar blog poRen, taaNder punoh-piRHitoh koraar jonno je paap-orjon korchhi aami, shetaa aami dosh-o-chokrey poRey korchhi. (Ei jonnoi chokroborti howaar ichhe aamar konodin-o puron hobe na - sharaa jibon Ghosh-Tey Ghosh-Tei kaatbe!)

Jaai hok, ekhun katha hochhe ei je, shuru kori-ta kotha theke. Shei oi ondho lokjon aar haathi type case hoye gelo. Keu shuNr diye shuru kore, toh keu layj niye layj-e goborey hoy. HoThaath kore aaj aami nijei nijer blog poRtey laaglam. PoRey dekhlam shuru korechhilam ek Durga pujor shomoy. Ebaar obishhyi Durga-r theke dur bhegechhilam. Shudur kono ek gaaN-te giye gaa dhakaa dewaar ichheo chhilo - kintu puron hoy ni.

Shey jaak ge, ekhun shaamne Diwali. Delhi-r mushkil ei je kichhuttei janaa jaaye na Kali pujo-ta kobe. Ei Delhiwala Delhiwaali-der khoppor-e porey shudhu mukh-ei 'Kali' aamar motoh lokjon-er.

Taa ei Diwali kintu ekhaane besh jaaNk jomok-er saathe manaano hoy. Oi Bombay-te jemon Chhatt pujo-r naam-e lok-e choTT kore chhuti niye phele, Delhi-te Diwali maanei office khaali khaali.

Taa, aaj theke aamader aapish-e aadhyek lok haapish. Jol khete giye dekhi ek Bangali colleague ritimotoh jella mere ekta jawl-jawley Panjabi pore eshechhen. Bollam, "Bhalo Panjabi." Shetaa shuney aarek colleague paash diye jete jete bole gelo, "Nahi, woh Bangali hai!" Jobba shombondhey montobbyo-ta erokom ghuriye dewate aami jobbor khepey gechhilam. Ekta jobordast jabaab-o maathaye eshechhilo, kintu keno jaani na mon-e holo je uttejonaa-r chott-e jodi "Sikh" shuntey "Sick" shoney, pitiye sheek-kebab baaniye debe.

Thankfully, ei Bangali shotti-i bhoddorlok. Unee jol khawa shere bollen, "Cholo, ek saathe khawa jaak. Aaj shunlam canteen-e chhole-bhuture baaniyechhe." Etaa shuney aami aaro hotoh-baak hoye gelaam. Aamader canteen je chalaaye, (aamra boli "Anna", kaaron taar khabaar keu nijer morjee-te aante chaaye na), taar culinary skills-er kul kinara kono nor baa naari-o hodish kortey paarbe na shetaa aamra gondhey gondhey jaani, kintu shey jee aajkal aakat theke occult-e geychhey, shetaa aami jaantam na.

Anyway, boshlam bhoddorlok-er saathe. Unee bodhoy bhuture chhole niye planchette-e boshaar plan pheNdechhilen. Jaai hok, aami film niye interested jene aamake proshno korlen, "Achha, etaa tumi-i boltey paarbe. Aami shedin ekta chhobi dekchhilam aamader cable-e. Ingriji chhobi, Hindi-te dub koraa. Taa oi chhobite oi robot-er saathe Diwali-r ki shompokko chhilo, ektu bolo toh." Bhoddorlok aamake je rate-e haaN korachhilen, mon-e hochhilo notun 'Mahabharat'-er jonno Krishna-r role-er audition dichhi. Ektu chhola kheye chhele-r buddhi khullo. Aaro kichhu-kkhon katha bolaa-r por jante paarlam je, chhobi-r naam 'Wall-E', unee shunechhilen 'Diwali'.

Etaa-r por aamar nijer ek kirti mon-e poRe gelo. Japani-ra hara-kiri kortoh, aami otaar ekta mental counterpart kortaam, jaar naam hara-kirti. Ei shob kirti have lost me a lot of things.

Kholsha kore boli.

Bishesh kichhui na. Kichhu din aagey ei CR Park-er maachh-er bajaar-e amidst much fanfare of Durga Pujo aamar saathe aamar Bhugol Didimoni-r dekha hoyechhilo. Aamar onaakey mon-e achhey kaaron, unee ekmattor teacher chhilen jini as a rule announce kore diten je "Shaamner shombaar surprise test hobe, Bhugol-er". Kintu onaar dekhi aamake mon-e achhe ekta completely onno kaaron-e. Aami naaki onaar ekta recurring duh-shopner kaaron. Kaaron onaar khataaye aami ekta belt poraa goru-r chhobi eNkey likhe diyechhilam "Cow belt of Haryana."

2007-04-30T22:53:00.000+05:30

Pher baaje-bawkaa

Blog lekhaa naaki nesha-r motoh. In fact, aamar ek colleague maarfot gyaaNtoh holaam je onnanyo nesha-r shongey ekta basic difference aachhe. Shetaa hochhe, ei nesha-tey poisha aamdaani hoy, khorcha hoy na otoTah.

Aamar khetrey eTaa ekebaarei pholey na. Aamar khetrey blog lekha hochhe naasha-r motoh. Achhe ki nei, Terr-o pawa jaaye na, until bondho howaar humki dey. Thik ek byapar holo aamar saathe. Aamake keu, baa kaara, humki dilen je, jodi awnotee-bilombey "blog in" naa kori, taaholey, blogosphere theke aamar ei chhoTTo blog-ti gaayeb howaar fear roye jaabe.

Aami er aageo eTaa lokkhyo korechhi - keu jodi aamake boley "Kichhu ekta lekho", aami puro hotoh-bhombo hoye jaai. Maane "I object if there is no subject", aar ki! Taai aami ektu khonja khunji korlaam je lok-e ki topic-er opor blog lekhe. Khunjtey giye dekhlaam, Tamluk-er proshiddyo tentul-er marmalade theke shuru korey Tibbot-er llama-der mormow-bedonaa obdi henow topic nei jaar opor keu kichhu lekhe ni. In other words, shob lekha hoye geychhey.

Taai, aamar aar lekhar kichhu nei. Ei context-e ekta katha maathaye eloh je, aamra ki jaani, je, aamader bhaasha, maane paati bhaashaye jaake boley "Baangla", taar modhhey kotoh bhobishhyot-baani lukiye achhe? Bishwaash holo naa, toh? Bhaabchhen, je bhaasha praaye oteet hotey chollo (maane aajkaal toh Baangali bachhara Egypt-er bhaashaye katha boley, Baangla noy; shonen ni "Mummy, Mummy" daak), taar moddhey aabar kothaakar bhobishyot? Bujhiye boli.

Baangla-tey ekta katha achhe "Bhaat bawKaa". Ebaar bhebey dekhun toh ei katha-r modhhey kono purush dekhtey pachhen ki? Uttom-madhyam gochher? JaaNr indra-r saathe saathe bodh-shokti lopp peleo baakshakti... Aashakori aamar ingit-er saaranghso, baa katha-r ortho bujhtey perechhen, aar kichhu bawlaar dorkaar nei!

Aamar kormostholey praaye-i aamake lok-jon-er kormo-potri, maane jaake boley Curriculum Vitae, taa dekhtey hoy. Ei kathaTa-r moddheo kemon ekta Baangali-aana chaarek achhe. Beshir bhaag ei CV, aashey shipareesh hishebe. Maane onekta ei rokom "Bhaaiti, ei Vitae-ta aamar ek Bhaayera Bhai-er. Bhaao naa kheye ektu see kore diyo toh, bhee-ta..." Obishhyi koyekjon je aw-maayik hon na, taa noy. TaaNra e-mail-er neeche powrishkaar kore lekhen "Please overlook my CV, which is attached with this mail."

Ebaar onno ekTaa bhaasha-bhaasha byapar-e aasha jaak. Aami gaaRi kinechhi bochhor khaanek aagey. Kintu etoh din-eo chaalok baa chalaak (jaake Ingrijitey boley "Street smart", maane smartly street diye gaaRi chaaliye beriye jetey paare) duTo-r ekTaao hoye uThhtey paari ni. HoThaath ki kheyaal holo, I felt an inner drive, bhorti hoye gelaam ekta Driving School-e.

Taa prothom din-i aamar confidence bereo gelo, komeo gelo. Kaaron-ta kintu ekTai - ekTi proshno. Aamar ek shoho-paaThini prothom class-ei proshno korlen "Please tell me what is a steering wheel". Eder haathey gaaRi powraa maane, bujhtey paarchhen toh?

Jaai hok. Jini class nichhilen, he somehow, steered clear of the question, ebong shojaa aamader-ke niye phellen ektaa gaaRi-r shaamne. Jekhane oi daktar-der ghar-e jemon konkaal jhholano thaake, temon bhaabe gaaRi-r parts bojhano holo aamader.

Shekhaneo ki aar rehaai achhe? Aabar proshno, "Slip jaatey naa korey, tokhun aamra brake koshi. Edike brake jaatey thik choley, taar jonno brake fluid laagai keno?" Uttor dewaar aagei break ghoshitoh holo!

2007-01-27T21:17:00.000+05:30

Baaje Bawkaa

JaaNra o-kowpoT-e shwikaar kowren je, aamake chenen, taaNra ek byaapar-e ek mot, je aami naaki oshowmbhob rokom baaje boktey paari. Kaaron aami bad jokes-er dead letter office. Ei bad jokes, jetaa aamar mukh diye pun-kouri-r motoh maajhe maajhei dubki mere aabar maatha jhhara diye oThey, shegulo-r proshong-shaa keu kokhuno korey naa kaaron 'It was a good bad joke', naaki 'Dada, gaaRi-ta pechhoney back koriye rakhun' type-er shuntey laage!

Taa, shey jaai hok. Maajhe shaajhe je mon kharaap laage na, taa naa. Tokhun aami ei bhebey mon bhaalo kore nii, je 'baaje' katha-taar Ingriji torjomaa korley daaNraye 'related to sound'. Aar 'sound' katha-taar Ingriji ortho hochhe 'bhaalo' - ei jemon 'He has a sound knowledge of acoustics'.

Shutohraang, byapar-ta ei daaNralo je, aapni Banglaaye aamake gaal dilen, shetaai Ingriji-te proshong-shaa hoye gelo! Shaadhe boley English is a cheeky language!

Kaal chhilo Gonow-tontro dibosh. Aar kichhu kawraar chhilo naa boley decide korechhilam ekta cinema dekhtey jaabo. Aagey theke ticket-o ketey rekhechhilam, kaaron oi din-e ticket-er tiki-r shondhaan pawao mushkil hoye daaNraye. Chhobi-r naam 'Salaam-e-Ishq'. Taatey kaara nei, shetaa bollei bodhoy shubidhey hoy. Kaaron bhawr dupur-e otoh taaroka ek mattor last aami Birla Planetarium-e dekhechhilam.

Promos were quite promising. Taa chhara original-ta - 'Love Actually' - kichhu mohilader khoppor-e porey avoid kortey paarini. Shetao aamar khub ektaa kharaap legechhilo, taa bolbo naa - I am referring to the mohilas, jaader khoppor-e aami porechhilam - not the film!

Taa, shokkal shokkal pouchhey gelaam hall-e. Beriye elaam jokhun, mon-e holo hall naa, hawl-a-hawl. 'Love Actually' tothkkhon-e 'Torture Definitely' hoye geychhey. Gonow-tontro dibowsh-er din-e orokom Maanoshik Gonow... dholaai'!

Ektu porishkaar kore boli.

Ingriji-tey ekta katha achhe 'Royally screwed'. I was 'Salaam-e-Ishqrewed!' Chhobi-ta chaar ghawnTaa lombaa. Ebong jekono patriotic film-er cheye effective. Maane, film-taar Republic Day-r din-i release kawra uchit chhilo. Aamader freedom fighter-der opor-e je maanoshik otyechaar chaalatoh British-ra, taar ektaa nidorshon hochhe oi chhobi. Shudhu ektaai difference - British-ra taaka niye otyichaar kortoh naa!

Half-time-e aami Guard-ke bollam 'Dada, aami baari jaabo!' Shey boley ki na 'Aaj Republic Day hai. Picture khatam hone se pehle nikalne nahi denge...security risk hai!' Taake aami kotoh kore bojhaabar chesTa korlaam je, hall-er bhetor-e thaakle aamar life risk hai, shey bayTaa paashonDow kichhuttei bojhe naa!

Aami ogottya ekta onno Audi-tey dhokaar prochesTa kawratey shekhaneo dhawra porey gelaam. Aamar ticket naaki onno Audi-r. Erokom Auditor gochher lok jon-er pallaye porey phire jetei holo!

Chhobi-tey Vidya Balan-er character-taar ektaa rog hoy, jaar naam hochhe 'Retrograde Amnesia'. Shuntey onektaa amnesia-r retrospective-er moto holeo, case-Taa taa noy. Oi rog jaader hoy, taaNra kono ekta specific kichhu (Vidya Balan-er character-Taar khetrey, taaNr je John Abraham-er shaathe biye hoyechhilo) bemalum bhuley jaaye. Aamar mon-e hoy, end credit-er shomoy nirdeshok mahashoy jodi kaymne Retrograde Amnesia invoke kawra jetey paarey, sheTaa aamne shaamne baatliye dayn, aamar motoh dorshok-der taaholey mongol hobey!

Ei shob koTheen koTheen Ingriji shobdoh shunley baa jaanley aamar ek shaathe onek katha mon-e porey jaaye. Ei jemon, aamar ek purono office-e ek colleague chhilen. Aamar Ingriji uchharon je khub uchho maan-er sheTaa aami kokkhunoi bolbo naa, kintu onaar, maane aamar shei colleague-er Ingriji bawlaa shunley mon-e hotoh unee roj shokaal-e 'The Statesman'-er ThoNgaa-te muri kheye aashten.

Taa, jaai hok, aamar Ingriji uchharon khub neemno maan-er bolei aami onaake besh bhakti-shradhha kortaam. Kintu sheTaa jawlanjali gelo ekdin. GhawTonaa-ta taaholey kholsha kore-i boli.

Office-er Bawro-babu shedin eshechhen khod Bombay theke. Taai emnitei besh hulu-sthul kaando. Aami aar aamar shei shoho-kormi onaar shaathe dekhaa kortey gechhi - tawlob elo jei mattor. Exactly ki aamader-ke jiggyesh korechhilen, baa bolechhilen Bawro-babu sheTaa eddin baad-e powrishkaar kore mon-e nei. Sref ei tuku mon-e achhe 'Sir' jetaa bollen sheTaa-tey shommoti jaaniye, aamar shohokormi sir dolaalen ebong Ingriji-tey ki ekta besh bollen. Byas...aar jaaye kothaaye!

Bawro-babu ekta besh boro rokom-er lompho mere 'tawraak' kore chair theke laafiye uThlen. Dekhben, khub excited hoye gele, baa prochonDoh regey gele, onek-er mukh theke maatri-bhaasha beriye aashe. (Maatri-bhaasha maane aami obishhyi 'Teri maa...' diye shuru baakyo-baan-er katha bolchhi naa!)

Taa, 'Sir' dekhlaam hoThaat Baangal bhaashaye chayNchaatey laaglen "Ki, tumi mor-e 'shuaar' koila?" Aami ritimotoh thotoh-motoh. Aamar shoho-kormi toh praaye murchhaa jaan, aar ki! Aamtaa-aamtaa kore ki besh ekTaa boltey laaglo shey, something to the effect of, "Na na...aami toh Sir...sure sir...aapni sir..."

Aabar 'tawraak'. Ebaar dekhi Bawro-babu aamake borrow korchhen in the conversation, "Oi, oi aabar. Ei, tumi, shunla, shunla? Aabar mor-e 'shuaar' koilo!"

Straight out of 'Pig-malion', na?

Shei je bhoddorlok haashi-r khoraak holen, shey aar thaamlo naa. Onaar chul-gulo shojaaru-r kaaNtaa-r motoh khaaRa khaaRa chhilo. Aar bhoddorlok-er surname chhilo Pyne. Taai aaRaley aabDaal-e lok-e onaake 'Porku Pyne' boleo daakto boley shunechhi.

Ebaar oi dhaar naa maaRiye ek-aadh-taa dhaar kawraa goppo shonaai, oi Ingriji shonkrantoh. Aamar current office-er colleague-er bawlaa eTaa. Shey je college-e portoh, taatey ek teacher chhilen, jaaNr Ingriji gyaan onektaa aamar Hindi gyaan-er motoh chhilo. Shutohraang chhatro-ra besh mawjaa petoh, ebong mawjaa korto-o.

Ei jemon ekdin unii class-e eshe dekhlen, je platform-er opor onaar chair table thaaktoh, shei platform-er opor diye Shatabdi Express choley geychhey. Maane, unii class-e Dhukey dekhen platform, taar opor table, table-er opor chair, ebong chair-er opor ektaa noNgraa nyaakraa gochher kichhu ekTaa.

Orokom ektaa cleaning tower dekhe unii shojaa daaNt pishaatey pishaatey beriye gelen. Jokhun 'Father'-ke niye aabar haajir holen totoh-kkhon-e the raised tower had been razed to the ground. Neechu golaaye chhatro-der 'Baap-baapantoh' kore 'Father'-ke unii bojhaalen "You see, Father. When I enter classroom, I see all the furniture are deranged!"

2007-01-23T11:36:00.000+05:30

Tere Beena...

Aaj je Saraswati pujo, taa gotow-kaal aamar gaaRi park kortey giye Terr pelaam. Maane case-Taa hochhe ei, je aamader baaRi-r paashey ekta ek chiltey jaaygaa achhe. Shekhaane shadharonotoh aamar baaRi-olaa-r gaaRi park kawra thaake. Kaal shondhey-bela hothaaT dekhi aamar gaaRi jekhaane gaarod-bondi thaake, shekhaane onaar-Taa shaakar hoye khaaRa.

Bekaar ektu haaNk daak kowraar por jaantey paarlaam je, oi chiltey jaaygaaye chaala taangiye pujo hobey. Kon ek thakur-ke besh shawnkaT-mochon boley. 20th century-r Saraswati dekhlaam shawkaT mochon!

Office-e eshe shunlaam ekhaneo pujo kawrar ekta plan phaaNda hoyechhilo. Kintu jaake ei project-er manager ghowshonaa kawra hoyechhilo, shey peechhiye jaaye. Taake aaRaley deke jiggyesh korlaam je ei beena bondonaa-r idea-ta toh mondo-na moteo, taao shey bina bakkyo-byaay-e orokom purut shaajar shujog-ta phurut kore kaatiye dilo keno.

Shey jaanalo je Saraswati pujo niye owr ekta bhoy achhe. ChhoTo-belay ek baar owr gawla-tey kul-er bichi aaTke gechhilo, tarpor theke 'Saraswati' naam shunlei owr naaki gawla shukiye jaaye! Aar shukno gawlaaye montro toh aar pawRa jaaye naa!

Taake aami onek bhaabe bojhaanor cheshTa korlaam. Bollam je o kul ekhun aar nei, taai boley e kul Dobaanor ki maane? Kintu kono bhaabei kul-er kinaara pawa gelo naa! Emonki 'Tumi ekti kul guy' theke shuru korey 'Tumi ekti kulaangaar' bawlaar poreo, shey not noRon choRon!

Chhotobelaaye ei din-Taar jonno prochonDoh udgreeb hoye opekkha kortaam. Naa, kul khawar probonowtaa aamar kono din-i chhilo naa, kulTa aamar pochhondoh noy. Oi je ekta tradition achhe na, Saraswati pujo-r din 'no powrashonaa', otaai aamake prochonDoh udbuddho kortoh!

Aajkaal ei keyboard aar computer-er joog-e sheTaa chhatro-chhatri-ra aar maane ki na obishhyi jaani naa. Ekhun toh ekdin mail check naa kortey paarley shunechhi lok jon depression-e choley jaaye! Keyboard-er botaam Tepaa-r din-e Topaa kul-er aar bodhoy kono sthaan nei!

Internet-e aajkaal naaki online montro-o pawa jaaye - ei shob pujo accha-r. Ichhe achhe office-er kaaj-er phaaNkey ekta Saraswati-r wallpaper download kore, choTT kore downloaded montro aauRey nebo.

Delhi-r Chitto Park-e aamar baaRi-r paasher pujo kemon hochhe jaantey phone korechhilam. Shunlaam pandit moshai besh choTey achhen. Kaaron-taa aar kichhui na. Ooni ekti bachha chheleke bolechhilen je 'Beena'-r opor kichhu CD niye aashtey. Shey shubodh baalok-er motoh guti chaarek CD eney rekheo diyechhilo.

Mantra pawra aarombho korlen purohit moshai. CD chaalatei heet-e biporeet hoye gelo. Ke ek gaayok, naak-e kaapor taaNganor clip laagiye naaki 'Tere bina...' boley uchhoishowr-e gaan dhorechhilo! '...beena ronjitoh' obdi boley thotho-mothoh kheye giye purut moshai naaki ronjitoh chokkhey kichhukkhon taakiye chhilen CD player-taar dike!

Office-e jokhun pujo holo na, plan kawra hoyechhe shondhey bela shobaai miley Mani Ratnam-er notun chhobi 'Guru' dekhtey jawa hobey. Aami shekhaan theke naam kaatiye nilaam. Omon guru-gombheer chhobi dekhtey aamar besh bhoy laage. Taa chhara, aami Surrealism obdi bujhi. Dali-r phool-er Daali obdi aamar dour. Kintu ei ekhun-kaar 'Shur-shuri-realism' jinish-ta aamar theek bodhogommo hoy naa.

Ei market-er ek nombor morkot - aami!

2007-01-10T20:56:00.000+05:30

Thaanda matlab...

Aajkaal Delhi-tey besh jaaNkiye thaanda powRechhe. Maane emon-i thaanda, paaraa naamtey naamtey emon jaaygaaye pouchhechey je prochur lok bolchhen, aar sref paara jachhe na.

Ei shomoy shobcheye beshi laabh hoy dui type-er company-r. Prothom hochhe telephone. Aajkaal-kaar chobbish ghanta-r TV channel-er daulat-e chokkher nimesh-e phone choley aashe Kolkata theke, jei naa khobor-e dekhalo oi Delhi-r temperature kotoh.

Ei ekti mattor shomoy-e lokjon mon diye oi Weather Report dekhey boTey. Onnannyo shomoy toh whether they exist or not, maane oi jaara weather pawRey, shetaai karor kheyaal thaake na. Aami kintu bowrabowr oi ekti jinish khub mon diye dekhtaam - jaake boley aabhawa doptor-er baani. Na, aamar kokhunoi 'Ab hawa thanda hoga, ya garam' ei byapar-e interest chhilo naa - aami mon diye India-r map-ta dekhtaam aar kon state kothaaye taar ektaa khoshra aaNka-r chesta kortaam mawgoj-e.

Aamar state-gyaan jotoTah unstated thaake totoh-Taai bhaalo. Ekbaar mon-e achhe, aami tokhun Class VI-e powRi, aamader Bhugol-er Didimoni aamader shobaaike India-r map eNkey taatey koyekta rajjyo point out kortey bolechhilen. Aami puro ek ghanta dhorey mon diye India-r map eNkechhilam. Khaata jokhun pherot pelaam dekhlaam Didimoni likhe diyechhen 'Aami Mughlai paratha bhaalobaashi, shetaa tumi jaanley ki kowre?'

Oh, haan. Er moddhey toh aabar New year-o eshe choley gelo. Shey ek aajob hirik. Office-e lok jon line beNdhey daaNr koriye 'Happy New Year' shonaabe. Jodi baa keTey beriye gelen, taao chharbe na, eshe haajir hobey aapnaar desk-e.

Maane, aami theek ei concept-ta bujhi naa. ETaao bujhi naa je jokhun aami oi 2nd January, aamar ek colleague-ke onek din baadey dekhe 'Hello' bollam, shey keno 'Same to you' boley choley gelo!

Haan, aabar katha-r khei haariye phellam. Hochhilo oi duto company-r katha jaara ei thaanda-r shomoy gorom business korey. Dwitiyo company hochhe courier service. Taader-o romm-romaa byapar. Praay-i Kolkata theke rowmosh shob monkey cap 'Extremely Urgent' parcel-e korey pouchhey jaaye Delhi shohor-er aanachey kaanachey.

Aamar aabar ekkarei thaanda laage na. Maane etoi laage na, je aami 2 degree celsius-er moddheo half haatha jaama aar jeans powrRey ghoraghuri kori. Ekhun etaar ekta bishaal oshubidhey achhe. Bolchhi keno.

Sheydin raastaaye bohudin por aamar school-er ek Master-moshaai-er shaathe dekhaa holo. Unee-i aamake chinlen, kaaron onaar jaa obosthaa chhilo, aamar pokkhey onaake chena puro-puri oshombhob chhilo.

Maane, kokhuno kono kombol courier hotey dekhechhen, ki? Ebaar visualize korun, shei kombol du paaye heNtey choley berachhe. Na, na, aaro achhe. Aami Master-moshai-ke dekhe pronaam kortey jachhilaam. Neechu hotei goNtta khelaam onaar pet-er kaachhe. Aami iishowt shondigdho drishti-tey taakatey, unii nijei bollen 'Na, na.. pronaam noy'. Aami bhaablaam, modern byapar-shyapar. Taao ekbaar aaRh chokh-e taakiye dekhlaam je onaar khetrey pronaam-ta projojjyo noy, paaye pawRa is far easier.

Unii je obosthaye chhilen tokhun, shetaa kombol bolley bhul hobey - onektaa peyaNj-er motoh. Maane layer upon layer, puro winter clothing-er supermarket. Ki nei, muffler, tupi, gloves, sweater, jacket, cardigan, mojaa - shey ek shottikaarer mowjaa-r drishhyo.

Jaai hok, unii jokhun nije thekei apotti jaanalen, aami aar baad shaadhlaam na. Maane CR Park-er main road-e shaashTangey pronaam kawrar motoh aamar kono ichhei chhilo naa. Taai aami haath baaraalam, with the intention of a handshake. Ki je bhul korlaam, bowlaar noy.

Bhodrolok prothom-e tupi-ta ektu naak theke naamalen. Tarpowr chokh theke oThaalen. Erpowr jacket-er pocket theke haath ber korlen. Prothom-e bhul kowrey baaN haath-er gloves khuley phelechhilen, obhyyesh bowsh-ey. 'Eh, hey' boley aabar oi gloves-ta powrey DaaN haath-er gloves-ta jokhun khultey gelen, dekhlen aami tokhun-o half salute pose-e daaNriye achhi. Onaar bodhoy ektu doyaa holow taai dekhe. Aamake bollen 'Shono, ei gloves-ta ektu khuley daao toh!'

Ei phone shonKrantoh ekta anecdote mon-e powRey gelo. Aamar colleague. Aajkaal aabar thaanda-o jomiye powRechhe. Maaney office eshe ungli prodorshon kortey besh shomoy laage. Taa sheirokom ekta din, office pouchhey uni kauke ekta phone kowrechhilen. Bolaai bahullyo maatha aar aangul-er moddhey cross connection hoye giye, jaa dial kowraar katha chhilo taa naa hoye onno kono ektaa nombor hoye gechhilo. HoThaat shuni aamar shei colleague besh jowr kaukey ektaa dhowmok dichhen 'Well, if it is the wrong number, why did you pick it up?'

Ei phone niye aamar-o besh kharaap obhiggowtaah achhey. Aamake jehetu thaanda jinish-ta affect korey naa, aamar bujhtey ektu shomoy laage ki how others and their daily routine get influenced by this winter. Ei jemon...ei dhorun, besh kichhudin aagekaar katha. Sheet-kaal je bolaai bahullyo. Shondher dik. Aami aamar ek superior-ke phone korechhi. Tokhun kawTa baaje - ei 9-9:30pm.

Bhodro-taar khaatir-e the first thing I asked was 'Were you sleeping? Did I wake you up?'

Uttor eloh 'Ek ghanta powrey phone koro. I shall be sleeping then!' Click.

2006-12-25T10:44:00.000+05:30

Jaataa Ekkarey!

Lekha-r obhyesh-ta praaye uthtei cholechhe ek adbhut kaaron-e. Naa, shudhi jodi bhaaben je shudha-r kono obodaan achhe ete, taa bhaaba shudhu bhul-i hobe naa, shuddho bhaasha-e jaake boley ghor baaje katha, shei byapaar hoye jaabe!

Aamar maathaye idea-gulo aashey boddo inopportune moment-e. Ekhun Delhi-tey besh thanda porechhe. Ei dhorun, kombol-er moddhey nijeke besh bhalo kore pack kore ghum-er desh-e nijeke courier kowrar plan korchhi. Courier besh airport-er kaacha-kaachi pouchheo geychhey, emon shomoy ekta awshadharon idea khello maathaye - jetaa niye besh bhalo lekha jaaye.

Aami emnitei besh confused prokriti-r - shutoraang ghum-er moddheo erokom situation jokhun arise kawrey, aaro confused hoye jaai. Aamar besh kichhu shohokormi-ra boley taara taader bichhana-r kaache computer rekhe shutey jaaye. Maane computer log off kore oraa doze off kawrey type. Etaa hochhe civilization-er progress-er ek nomunaa. Mon-e achhe chhotobelaaye ekta katha shunechhilam - 'Haath baaRalei bondhu'. Ekhun taar jaaygaaye cholchhe 'Haath baaRalei compu'.

Jaai hok, aamar khetrey ei solution-ta ei jonnoi khaaTe naa, kaaron etaa apply kortey geley aamar khaaT-er paashey computer table ene laagatey hobey! Taar cheye shohoj process hochhe, baalish-er kachhe ekta khata -pencil raakha. Etaa aami besh kothaye ekta poreochhilam. Jaai hok, aami shetaao try korechhi, apply-o korechhi. Kintu porer din shokaal-e "EeNdur, SMS, neem paataa" lekha dekhe taar mormow udhhar kortey paarini!

Shutoraang, kono 'ekta' topic-er opor ei lekha-ta noy. Etaa hochhe oi Goddard-er chhobi-r blog version - keu jodi er jonno aamake gawdaa-r baari maaren, gawdo-gawdo mukh-e boli, 'I think I deserve it'!

Aamar office-er colleague-ra, jaaNraa aw-Bangali, taaNraa aamader 'raw'-er dowsh dhortey besh shiddho-hostoh. Aamraa jehetu minority, shei hetu aamader bawlaar khub ekta scope dewaa hoy naa. Taar cheyeo borow katha hochhe uttor-taa Hindi-tey dilei shomichin hoy - Ingraji-tey Banglabhaashi-der Hindi bolaa niye shomalochona kowrataa-r moddhey ekta besh secular bhaab achhe botey, kintu ultimately khub ekta jomey naa.

Taa, shey jaai hok. Abhimaan-taa ekhanei prokaash kori. Ei point-taa aamar ek shoho-kormi-r. Jokhuni aamader oi 'raw' uchharon niye baa bus mohilaa naa train purush ei shob maha golmeley proshney naasta-nabud kawrey lok jon, aamar shei shomow-byaathi, shohokormi boley "Dekho, je bhaashaye lok-e nijeke aataa boley - 'Hum aataa hai' - taa niye torko naa kawrai bhalo!"

Aamar theek mon-e chhilo naa aaj Christmas. Prochur SMS eloh ei maatro aamake wish korey. Taar modhhey gowta du-ek je kaar paathano, taa theek Thhahor kore uthtey paarlaam na!

Jaai hok. Ei keshto-maash-er din, shondhey hotey naa hotei raastaa-ghaat-e, restaurant-e aar cinema hall chottor-e du prokriti-r lok dekhaa jaaye - ek keshto thakur aar dui Keshto Mukherjee.

Aagekaar din-e ekta katha procholitoh chhilo 'Koshtoh naa korley, keshto mele naa'. Ei Google aar Internet-er din-e oi katha aar khaaTey naa. Tobey haan, etaa theek je, aaj ker ei Keshto-maash-er din, kowshey taan pawrey aapnaar kowsh awrthaat wallet-er opor.

Aamar oboshhyo oi niye chintaa nei, kaaron aamar kaarbraar shobdoh-kosh niye.

Aamader office theke aamader koyek jon-ke ekta training-e paathiyechhilo ei koyekdin aagey. Naam chhilo 'Meta training'. Dwitiyo din-e bujhtey paarlaam aamar motoh lok jon, jaaNder nijeder shombondhey besh ekta bhalo dhawronaa toiri hoyechhilo over a period of time, taaNder shei bhraanti 'meta'-nor jonnoi ei 'training'.

Taa shei training organize kawra hoyechhilo shohor-er ek onno praantey. Shekhaane pouchhotey pouchhotei praan oshtagotow hoye jeto. Tarpor aabar train kore nijer shombondhey shob bhalo dhaaronaa ghuchiye dewaar bondobostow - taa shey jaai hok, ei niye aar beshi likhbo naa ei public blog-e, kaaron-ta nahoy kholshaa korey naai bollam!

Delhi-r raasta-e ek boddo golmele jinish achhe - taar naam hochhe 'gol-chakkar'. Raastaa ghaat-e eraa aakchhar mele, aar ritimotoh ghol khaiyye chhare lokjon-ke. Gol jinish-ta aamar bawra-bor-i besh gondogol-er laage - taa shey aamar awNke-r khaata-y hok, ki blackboard-e aaNktey bawlaai hok - gol-er shobcheye borow problem hochhe direction.

Ei jemon aapni kauke bollen 'Aarey, dekhbi shaamne ekta dokaan porbey jaar naam 'Niche'. Jodio dokaan-taa teen-towlaaye, taao je naam 'Neeche' keno, jaani naa... oi dokaan-taar daanhaath-er je goli, sheta diye shojaa...' so on and so forth.

Taa ei simple byapar-ta gol-er khetrey khaaTe naa. Okhaanei toh gol - baam dik, daan dik nei ki na!

Aami maathaa heNt kore shwikaar kortey raaji achhi je aamar raastaa gyaan khub kom. Taar modhhey ei gol chokkor. Ekta turn bhul niyechhen ki, byas, hoye gelo! Shey emon chokkor ghowrabey je gaari baa bike-er chaakaar shaathe maatha-o bon-bon kore ghurbey.

Ei jemon prothom jedin aamra gelaam oi training-e...pherot aashchhi aamar shei 'Jaataa language jaate hum aata hai' shohokormi-r shaathe or bike-e goppo korte korte. Dibbo aashchhilaam. Hothaat maajh raastaaye, jekhaane daaNR kawraanor katha noy, shekhaney police traffic daaNr koriye ditei goppo aar raastaa, dutor-i khei haariye gelo.

Jaawar katha chhilo India Gate-er dike, hothaat dekhi shojaa GPO-r gate diye probesh korchhi! Idea-ta mondoh khele ni chhele-tir maathaye. Haariyei jokhun geychhi tokhun ekta paanch taaka-r stamp maathaye laagiye letter box-er shaamne boshley hoytoh theek thikana-tey pouchheo jetaam, kintu Indian Postal Service-er opor aamar bhorshaa khub kom.

Bohudin por ei koyekdin aagey aami Delhi-r bus-e chowrechhilam. Ekhane line beNdhey bus gulo jokhun terminus-e daaNriye thaake tokhun dekhe bojhaa jaaye je muloh-toh du prokaar bus achhe - blue line aar white line. Etaa hochhe oi Maneka Gandhi-r laal buti aar shobuj buti-r motoh. White line-e bhaaraa baandhaa, aar blue line-e bheeR baandhaa.

Etaa hochhe aamar shaathe ekti bus-er conductor-er conversation. Aami taake nehaat-i go-bechara mukh-e jiggyesh korlaam je bus-ta jaabe kothaaye - kaaron bus-er opor jetaa likhe chhilo, shei jaayga-ta je Delhi-te, aamar gyaan chhilo naa. Proshno korey dekhlaam conductor aar aami ek-i path-er pathik.

Shey aamar proshno prochondoh rokom mon diye shuney hothaat baajkhaai golaaye chitkaar kortey shuru korlo 'No idea, no idea, no idea!'

Aamake thotoh-motoh khete dekhe ek jaatri bus-e othaar shomoy aamake bollen 'Yeh bus NOIDA jaa rahi hai'.

'Rahi hai', na 'Raha hai'? Rehaai daao, baba!

2006-10-31T11:24:00.000+05:30

Bhasha-e bohiya

Ei blog lekha aami shuru korechhilam nehaat-i curiosity-r khaatir-e. Delhi-r moto erokom ekta baaje city-te theke theke nijeke kirokom ekta curio-piece-er moto mon-e hochhilo. Taa chhara ei naam'ta besh - ' blog'. Naam-er moddhey ekta Sukumar Ray-Sukumar Ray gondho achhe.

Shillong gechhilam Ma-Baba-r shaathe, tokhun aamar boyesh khub-i kom. Shekhane ekta log cabin-e chhilam.

Oi trip-ta aamar aabchha-aabchha ekhuno mon-e achhe. Ei kaaron-ei aaro mon-e achhe je, Class VII-e aamader oNke-r master jokhun aamake 'What is a log table, with example' proshno korechhilen, aami Shillong-er oi log cabin-er table-er brityanto onaake shuniechhilam. Unee kaTh-khotta maanush. Aamar oi uttor-er doKKhina hishebe aamake class-er 'outstanding' student aaKhya diye dokhina hawa khawate paathiye diyechhilen!

Haan, toh jaa bolchhilam. 'Blog' naamta shunei aamar kirokom jayno tog-bog kore energy-level bere gelo. Blog naam-tar khub kaachha-kaachhi ekta shobdo achhe - log-bog. Aar aami shoddyo-shoddyo 'Omkara'-te Langda Tyagi-r character dekhe besh udbuddho-o hoye gechhilam. Shob miliye, shuru holo aamar blog-blog kora.

Chhotobela-te aamar juktaKKhor shikhte besh beg pete hoyechhilo. Ingiriji-te jaake boley 'Beg to differ'. IyoN-chaw aar chaw-e-iyoN, ei niye aamar ekhuno jothesto confusion achhe. Maane aami praaye-i gaamchha aar baanchha-r modhhey guliye pheli. Bolai bahullyo, etaa moteo baaNchhoniyo noy!

Taa, blog lekha jokhun shuru korlaam, shob-i kirokom bhaasha-bhaasha laagchhilo. Ei jemon, kon bhaasha-e likhbo? Aamar kichhu bondhu maarfot gyaaNtoh holaam je Bangla-teo lekha jaaye! Bangla-r proti aamar aakorshon oporishim. Onno bhaasha-r scotch-kochi ki aar Bangla-r neshaa-r chouhuddi-r moddheo aashte paare? Taai shorbo prothom aami khuNjte laaglaam, Bangla lekhar software.

Achha, ei Google naam-ta ki Samaresh Basu-r Gogol character theke anupraanito? Kaaron dujon-er-i power of finding out is ten to the power infinity!

Aamar mot-e ei Google-er maalik-ra are missing out on a huge marketing opportunity. Aagekaar din-e ki hoto, na, lokjon Kumbho mela-e haariye jeto, aabar Kumbho mela-tei eke-opor-ke khuNje petow. Taa aamader Google-i baa kom kishe? Aar Kumbho-r moto market era paabe kothaye? Shutorang era jodi Kumbho mela-te ekta stall dey, aamar mon-e hoy oder byaabsha hoi-hoi kore beRe jaabe.

Jaai hok, kothaye besh chhilam? Oh, haan. Ebaar stall theke install-e phire aashi. Banglaword boley ekta software-er hodish pawa gelo. Taa sheta shiggiri install kore haath kochley likhte boshlaam. Prothom baKKo likhlaam 'Aami Rupak'.

Aami khub monojog diye type kori. Onek-ke dekhechhi taara monitor-er dike taakiye jhawr-jhawr kore jhawr-er beg-e type korte paare - kintu ekhaneo I beg to differ. My typing has to be monitored.

Taa nijer introduction dewar por, maatha tule praaye bhirmi khaai aar ki! Monitor-e jeta phutey uthlo, shei bhaasha aamar teen-maash-er cousin hoyto bujhte paarto - aamar khawmota-r baiire. Shei theke decide korlaam, je unlike Bangla-r maati aamar Bangla-te blog lekha-r ichhe-ta awpurno-i roye jaabe. In other words, Bangla-e lekhar plan-tai maati!

Aamar blog jaaNra pawren (jemon, aami) taaNra onekei aamake bolechhen je, ei Ingriji oKKhor-e Bangla portey bhishon koshto hoy. Taai, keno na aami Ingriji-tei Ingriji likhi? Aami ekbaar ekta oshadharon version of 'Terminator 2' dekhechhilam - sheta Hindi-te dubbed chhilo, with English sub-title. Chhobi-ta dekhar experience aamar ekhuno mon-e achhe and this is the closest I have come to repeating that in my real life.

Aar shotti boltey ki, Bangla-r mahaTTo-i aalada. Ei jemon, shedin aamar ek bondhu jachhilo ekta music system kintey. Taa, je music system-ta baaje sheta bhaalo, aar je music system-ta baaje na sheta bhalo na, eta keno hobe when it should actually be je, je music system-ta baaje na sheta bhalo, ei rokom ekta prochondo rokom aaddhyattik aalochona-te aatke gechhilam.

Bangla-te jokhun dhukei gechhi, tokhun ekta obhiGGyata-r katha-o boli. South Point-e aami jokhun portaam, aamader Statistics pawraten Prithwish-Babu.

Unee Silheti bhaasha-e katha bolten - jaake boley with a clean Silhet. Taa aami shedin ki mon-e holo, first bench-e boshe chhilam. Hothaat dekhi bhodro-lok aamar shaamne daaNriye nibishto mon-e aamake dekhchhen. Aami mukh tuley chaaite-i, uni bollen 'Panta kholo'!

Sref hotow-baak hoye gelaam. Uthey daaNralaam. Aabar shei ek aadesh - 'Panta kholo!' Aami aaD chokh-e edik odik taakiye belt-er dik-e haath baaRalaam. Pher dhomok. Dekhi, unee-i haath baaRachhen. Aamar praae moorchha jawar upokrom. Shesh baar-er moto chokh tuley dekhi uni aamar pen-ta aamar haath-e dhorachhen - khaap-ta khule!

Ei shutre-i aarekta experience mon-e pore gelo. Ebaar Hindi-r paala. Aami Hindi pawra shikhechhi Hindi chhobi-r poster powrey. Taa, aamra - maane aami, Ma Baba - shebaar gechhilam, ki besh jaaygaata-r naam, haan, Agartala. Shekhane giye dekhi obaak kando.

Shaari shaari dokaan, shei dokaan-er opor jaa lekha taar maane daaNraaye je, oi dokaan-er maalik-der opowr ekta kore phone raakha achhe. Udahoron shworoop (e shob kichhui kintu Hindi-te lekha) Sunil pe phone, Jindal pe phone, Ramu pe phone, ityaadi, ityaadi, ityaadi!

Jodi-o eta bhaasha shonkraanto noy, taao Agartala boltey mon-e porey gelo, taai likhchhi. Okhaane aamra ekta jongol type-er jaaygaa-te gechhilam, jekhaane kichhu coffee-r gaachh chhilo. Aamader ek co-traveler, aamar ekhuno mon-e achhey, ekta gaachh-er paataa chhiRe, chibiye kheye bolecchilen, "Umm..., na, Nescafe noy. Bru-tru hobe!"

2006-10-18T10:06:00.000+05:30

Naam Pori-naam

Aamader shobaar kichhu na kichhu ekta shongroho korar baatik thaake. Aami naam jawmai.

Prothom-e bhebechhilam naam-er bhoot shiggiri ghaaR theke naambe. Kintu ei tirish bochhor boyesh hoye gelo, naam-koron-er kaaron shudha-r nesha ekhun-o naasha-rondhro diye rondhrey-rondhrey boichhey.

Aamar office Delhi-r Okhla boley ekta jaaygaay. Jaaygaata-r naam bodhoy fokla holei bhalo hoto, kaaron du-chaarte paan-jarda khawa kele daaNt-er moto factory-r chimney beriye thaake oi onchol-ta theke.

Jaai hok. Taa office theke pherar shomoy traffic jam-er moddhey jaate sandwich na hoye jaai, taai ektu ghur-poth-e phirtey hoy. Sheirokom-i ekdin phirchhi. Jaanla-r baairey taakiye dekhi ek adbhut drishhyo.

Ekta baari, taar opor ekta board. Shei board-er opor bishaal bishaal oKKhor-e lekha - 'Vishal DaaNtoh ka Hospital'.

Ekhun proshno-ta hochhey, Delhi-r moto jaaygay ora shindhu-ghotok paaye kothaye, ba haathi? Taa jodi naao hoy, taa-holey ki okhaane aamar moto lok-der jawa nishiDDhyo? Kaaron naa toh aami haaN korle brohmanddo dekha jaaye, naa dawNto bikoshito korley mon-e hoy shaal-graam shila.

Besh kichhuKKhon daaNriye roilaam building-taar shaamne. Ei aasha-te je ekta na ekta patient dekhte paabo. Kintu aapshosh ei je, impatient hoye phire aashtey holo.

Tobey, je ba jaara oi naam-ta rekhechhilo, 'unki daat deni padegi'!

Aami jokhun Kolkata-e thaaktaam, praaye-i Gol Park theke Jadavpur jetaam, tuition-er jonno. Raasta-e ekta dokaan poRto, jetaar board-ta etoi interesting chhilo je dekhte giye koKKhuno bored hotaam na.

ChaamRa-r dokaan-tar naam-ta bhuley gechhi, kintu naam-er neeche jetaa lekha chhilo sheta oKKhor-e oKKhor-e mon-e achhe - 'Ekhane bag, handbag, juto ebong shorbo-prokaar ladies parts sharaai hoy'! Eta pawRa-r por oder dokaan-e juto-r komti kono din hoy ni bodhoy.

Aarekta episode mon-e poRe gelo. South Point-e aami Class XI-XII poRechhilam. XI-e poRa-kaalin aami jaundice-eo poRechhilam. Shei yellow state-e sharakkhon aamake ruti aar gorom rasogolla 'Yeh-lo' boley din-e chaar-baar khawano hoto.

Taa shoDDo shoDDo tokhun jaundice theke uthechhi - jaake bol-ey gaaye holud obostha tokhun-o puro-ta kaateni. Bus-e korey phirchhi, chokh-e porlo self promotion-er ek joghonnyo nidorshon.

Kon paaRa-r ke ek Jaga-da, shey dekhlaam MBA hoyechhe bol-ey Gariahat-er moRh-e ekta iya lomba banner taangiyechhe. Neech-e aabar lekha 'Wishes you a very happy Durga Puja'.

Bhaablaam 'A-mawron, moron kothaakar!'

Du-ekdin por Pujo-r kenaa-kaata shaartey Ma aamake Gariahat-er Jagadamba store-e niye gelo!

Kolkata-r Behala chottowr-e Ajanta naam-e ekta cinema hall achhey. Shekhaan theke ektu egiye gelei ekta jaayga achhey jeta ODRC naam-e porichitoh. Puro naam-ta hochhey Old Dog's Race Course. BaaRi phera-kaalin aami protidin bhaabtaam, ekhun-o bhaabi kintu bhebe kulkinara paai ni je ota buro kukur der racecourse, na kukur-der purono race course.

Aar-o adbhut byapar hochhe kukur-der race organize korey kaara? Aami kukur-der ekmaatro gaaRi-r pechhoney race kortey dekhechhi. Taao unorganized obosthaye.

Aamar ek bondhu-r shaathe shedin kotha hochhilo ekta company kholar - o actually aamake suggest korchhilo je aami ekta company khuli - Production house. Typical Baangali-r moto I believe je, business is none of my business. Aage-kaar din-er production house holey taao na hoy hoto - shekhaane ekta Gupta babu-r camera diye shaaraa bochhor kaaj cholto. Aar aajkaal toh shaara bochhor je oi shob company-te ki kaaj hoy, taa gupto-camera-r daulat-e TV khullei dekha jachhe.

Production aar reproduction-er moddhey kono farak-i roilo na - jene gaa 'ri-ri' kawre!

Kawtha-e kawtha-e, actually naamkoron-er kawtha-e kawtha-e ei bondhu maarfot gyaaNtoh holaam je Bombay-te naaki ekta 'Toe-toe' Babu-r garage achhey. Shutorang aamar 'Toe-toe company' kholaa-r plan baatil hoye gelo.

Copywriter howaar daulat-e aamake praaye-i onek utko aabdaar shuntey hoy. Taar moddhey one of the most common hochhe 'Ekta naam diye de, bhai!'

Ei jemon aaj theke besh koyekta office aagekaar ghawtona. Aamar ek dur-shompokker colleague, eshe aabdaar kore boshlo je, taaNr ek Bangali bondhu restaurant khulchhe, taar naam-koron kore ditey hobey! Egulo hochhe, jaake bol-ey classic freelancing - free-te sref kheTey jaao.

Client brief jaa pawa geylo, taa oteebo brief - 'Aami Bangali theke North Indian shob-i baanabo.' Onek maatha ghaaNtiye ekta naam-er phawrdo paathaalam.

Onaar haab-bhaab-ta onek-ta aamar ek bondhu-r jayTha-moshai-er moto chhilo. Ei bhoddor-lok, maane aamar bondhu-r jayTha moshai-er ekta dosh chhilo - ooni koKKhuno jeyThima-r ranna-r proshongsha korten na - kichhu na kichhu ekta khuNt theek ber korten.

Ekdin jeyThima bhaablen 'Onek jayThamo hoyechhe, aaj emon ranna raaNdhbo je kichhuttei khuNt dhorte paarbe na'. Jei bawla, shei kaaj.

Khete boshlen bhoddorlok. Khawa shuru holo. Khawa khawtom-o hoye gelo, kono uchho-bachho nei. Aar thaakte na pere jeyThima jiggyesh korei phellen, "Ki, ranna-ta theek chhilo toh?"

Uttor elo, "Ei noon-ta aar ektu beshi porlei shob baan-chaal hoye jeto!"

Aamar client-ti chhilo oi rokom. Shesh-e aar na pere aami surrender kore dilum.

Por-e shunechhilam ooni nijei restaurant-er naam rekhechhen - 'Chaatu Curry'.

2006-10-10T21:35:00.000+05:30

Kaala-jaWr

Kaala-jaWr - ei bhoyonkor byaamo-taar katha, thanks to a number of Bangali shahityik, aami gyaNto. Kothaye besh poreochhilam je, kaala-jaWr ekhun bhu-bharat theke phorsha hoye geychhey! Exactly je rog-ta ki, sheta aamar thik kore mon-e nei, tobey etuku boltey paari je, gotoh teen-chaar din dhorey aami ei byaadhi-te aakranto hoyechhilam. Dhum jaWr hoyechhilo, ebong aami kaala hoye gechhilam!

Kolkata theke phire aashaar por thekei kaymon jeno gaa-ta mayj-mayj korchhilo. Prothom-e bhebechhilam je oi Pujo accha-r din acchhaa kore mauj korar fawl hochhe oi 'a-chhoo' gochher haaNchi gulo. (Ingrej-ra shotti je ki na! HaaNchi-ke keu kono din 'aa chhoo' bole? Ei shob shomoy-e je dur-e thaka bhalo, taa oder-ke ke bojhabe?)

Onek-er haaNchi besh 'min-min' kora - jaare koy 'HaaNchi min'. Aamar-ta aabar super-woofer inbuilt-wala. Ek baar mon-ey achhe, Delhi-er ek ottyonto posh cinema hall-e bosh-e cinema dekhchhilam, ebong ek mokkhom muhurtey haaNchi pelo.

HaaNchi hochhey SMS-er moto. Aagey theke kokkhuno bojha jaaye na, kokhun taaNr aabirbhaab hobey! Aar prokot holey attend na kore paara jaaye na.

Taa jaai hok, shaamlaatey na pere heNchei phellam. Chokh khule dekhi, shei Goopy Bagha jemon haath-taali diye, jei kono khaabaar-er katha convey korto, taai aakash theke puro conveyor belt diye naama-r moto shaari shaari neme aashtoh, temon-i ekta kichhu ghotechhe!

Eta jaantaam na je, PVR-e haaNchle free khaabar pawa jaaye. Aamar kowl-moy dekhlaam popcorn. 'Bhaggyish kowl-e Cola poreni', ei bhaabtey bhaabtey ekbaar opor-er dik-e taakaalam - nishchhidro ondhokaar. DaaN dik-e taakate rohoshhyo udghaaton holo. Dekhlaam ek theyssh diye bosha Sheth-ji, taaNr chokkhu ritimoto pop-out korchhe, haath-e aadh gaamla popcorn!

Shordi-r best oshud naaki needra. Shei kaaron-ei bodhoy aagekaar din-er rishi-maharishi-der shordi hoto na. Kaaron taaNra katha-e katha-e jog-needra-r path obolombon korten. Jaai hok, aami aamar schedule-e office biyog kore, needra jog korlaam.

Por-er din shokaal-e chokh meltei ek obdhut sensation holo. Shokaal 7-taar jogot je eto chup-chaap hotey paare, aagey jaantaam na. Aabaar Goopy-r katha mon-ey porey gelo, kemon shey bhoot-er raja-r bawr pawar por-ey gawla chherey gaan dhorechhilo!

Goopy-r shaathe aamar ekta mil achhey. O jemon chup chaap prokriti dekhe gaan dhorechhilo, temon aami aamar college life-e kokkhuno jodi prokritistho baa o-prokritistho obosthaye gaan gaawar chesta kortaam, aamar bondhu-ra aamake chup koraanor jonno chepey dhorto. Taai gaan aar chup-chaap dutoi aamar jibon-e related.

FTV boley aamar ek oteehbo priyo TV channel achhey. Ota dekhei aami bujhechhilam oi Supermodel-der orokom Shojne daaNtar moto chehara hoy ki kore! Shaaradin jodi keu heNte jaaye, taar cheye bhalo exercise aar ki hotey paare? Jaai hok, oi channel-e shedin shokaal-e ei bochhor-er Cannes Award ceremony-r opor ekta program dekhachhilo. Kaan-e ektao word dhuklo na jokhun, bujhlaam aami kaala hoye geychhi!

JaWr jinish-ta aamake prochondo disoriented kore deY. Eta boltey mon-ey pore gelo ekta ghebrey dewa experience.

Aamar prothom chaakri. Event management. Geychhi ek client meeting-e. Client boley ki na 'My brand is extremely manly. It is called 'Three Lines''. Aami aaRh chokh-e ek baar aamar client servicing colleague-er dik-e taakaalam. Shey dekhi nirlipto hoye shuney jachhey client-er katha. Briefing-er shomoy aaro ontohtoh baar shaataash-ek shei ek kotha shuntey holo 'Very macho - three lines'. Aami totokkhon-e 'I came. I saw. I conquered' theke frustrated hoye 'I came to meeting. I heard. I want to conk him' obdi praaye shob bhebe phelechhi, kintu teen-te macho line kichhuttei match koratey paarlaam na.

Aar thaaktey na pere client-ke bollam 'Aapnaar brand-er ekta logo dekha jete paare?' Logo-tey teen-te shingho - three lions!

Shei shingho duaar khultey joto naa koshto peyechhilam, taar theke kom haynostha ebaar hotey hoy ni. Aamar fridge-ta gelo kharaap hoye er moddhey. Prothom-e bhaablaam, aamar oi oto golper boi gulor jonney ebaar ekta cold storage pawa geychhey.

Kintu jokhun praaye protidin-i dal shondhey jete na jete awmbol hoye jete shuru korlo, aar dinner skip korey aamar awmbol aar choaaN dheNkur-er prokop baartei laaglo, dekhlam notun ekta fridge na kiney upaay nei.

Aaj kaal bawro gondogol-er shomoy. Jaai kintey jaao, shob-i etoh bawro bawro je, hoy taa kintey tomaake taaka borrow kortey hobey, aar taa na paarlei gondogol.

Ei jemon, aamaar dorkaar chhilo ekta chhoto fridge. Taa aami duto dorjaa-wala fridge niye korbo-ta ki? Jaani, duto dorjaa thakaar shubidhe achhe. Kintu shey toh baari-r khettrey projojjyo - fridge-er khetrey toh noy.

Aar shotti boltey ki, shudhu borof-er jonno oto bawro ekta compartment - borof aamar chaai, aami maani - kintu chaaiN chaaiN borof chaai, emon toh kokhuno bolini!

Kicchhu fridge-er khetrey dekhlam oi flight ba train-e jemon hoy, temon veg aar non-veg aalaada hoye geychhey. Maaney, fridge-er neech-e dekhlaam ekta aalaada compartment - eta fridge-er baaire - taate shobji raakhar byabostha. Salesman ke jiggyesh korlaam 'Aarshola oTHey jodi?'

Jaai hok, onek ghora ghuri korar por ekta aamar shomaan height-er fridge pochhondo holo. Diwali boley dokaandaar bollo 'Guaranteed free gift' achhey. 'Gift' aar 'Free' ei duto katha aamra Bangali-ra prochondo pochhondo kori. Taai prochondo excited hoye gelaam gift aantey.

Prothom-ei dokaandaar ekta bachha chhele-r pistol haath-e dhoralo. Aami bhaablam ei bodhoy gift. Shobey ota pocket-ostho korechhi ki korini, dokaandaar dhawmok debaar shur-e dustbin dekhiye bollo 'Udhaar pheNkiye'. Fake pistol, taaye pheNktey bolchhey, aami pheley dilaam bonduk-ta dustbin-e. Dokaandaar haaN hoye gelo.

Dustbin theke bonduk-ta tuley trigger tiplo nijei. Ekhun 'pheNko' maane je 'chaalao' eta ki korey jaanbo? E onekta shei 'Kapda taang do' aar 'Paa-ta-ke kapoD-er moto mele daao' niye confused hoye jawaar moto case!

Confetti jaatiyo ki ekta besh berolo, taarpor dekhlaam ek chiltey kaagoj uNki maarchhey - taatey je gift-er naam lekha chhilo, taar theke bodhoy oi pistol-ta daami!

Fridge ekhun besh cholchhey. Du-din shojja-gotow hoye praan oshta-gotow howaar por jaWr-o ekhun aamar opor theke nojor tulechhe mon-e hoy. Shudhu maajhe shaajhei shukno kaashi - jaakey bhalo Baanglay boley 'Shushko kaashtho khondow'!

2006-10-06T20:15:00.000+05:30

Ghowr-Koli

Ebaar ek odbhut byapaar holo. Pujo-r dhaak baajaar aagei bhetor-e ke jeno ekta dhaak-dhaak guru guru golaaye 'Ma..Ma' boley deke uthlo! Shubidhe-ta etai aamar je, je Ma, Dugga hoy, aar je Ma 'Dugga Dugga' bol-ey jokhuni baari chhaara hoi, dujonkei ebaar ek-i shomoy Kolkatay pawar chance chhilo. (Ingraaji-tey er ekta descriptor achhey - 'Mum's the word'. Chhaa-posha grihostho Baangali purush-er bodhu-der moddhey oboshhyo ei kotha-tar khub-ekta chawlon nei!) Iyaarki chhere eta bola bhaalo, je yearly dui maa-kei ek jaaygaay pawa jaaye.

Pouranik kaal-e lokjon mowm (wax)-er daana baaniye prochur henostha hoyechhe. Aaj kaal, maane ei ghor Koliyug-e Kolikata jete daana meltey mowm-er dorkaar hoy na, ekta home computer-i jothestho. Taa ek Robi-baarer baar belaa-tey ei Compu-babaji-r shaamne kompomaan hosthe ticket book kortey boshlaam.

Ekhun aar agent-der tiki-tir shondhaan-o laagey na dekhlam. Ticket-ti 'shoor shoor' kore print hoye beriye elo. Bangali mon - taai oi ek phaali kaagoj dekhe khub ekta mon bhorlo na. E hochhe shei rokom - jaara aagekaar din-er phone (jaare ekhun koy 'landline') byaabohaar korechhen, taara hoyto kichhuta shomobedona jaanaben. Aami bolchhi shei koshtipaathor phone gulor kotha jegulo jogoddol-er moto ghaapti mere boshey thakto table-er opor.Dawsh-ta chhidro-te angul dhukiye kaan mola-r moto mochor diye, ekta promaan size-er mortomaan kola-r moto receiver kaan-e laagiye 'Hello' bolaar je onubhuti, sheta aajkaal kaar 'slimmest' phone-e kothaye?

Jaai hok, kotha hochhilo shudur-e bheshe jaawa niye, aami kirokom wrong number-er moto dur-bhaash-er kawthaye choley gelaam. Mone achhe aaj theke even bochhor shaat-ek (seven) aage-o plane-e chawra maane, shey chhilo ek bishaal byaapar. Indian Airlines-er ticket gulo praaye chhoto brochure-er moto hoto. Ultey paaltey dekhtey besh shomoy laagto. Shekhane ei ek A4 sheet. Taar ephhor ophhor kissui naai.

Pujo-r shomoy Kolkata jachhi, taaye Pujo dekhbo praaye bochhor aashtek por, taai decide korechhilam je, celebrations-ta maati thekei shuru korbo - ektu maata-maati holo naahoy. Aar Pujor shomoy taa na holey toh shob-i maati! Taai bondhu-borg-er sample niye market research-e naamlo ei morkot.

Shobaai dekhlaam ek baakyye mene nilo je ei kodin-er jonno jokhun Kolkata jachhi - jaare boley praaye 'buri chhoa', taai flight-eo 'buri' chhoa-r dorkaar nei. Shutorang shobaar aagey baad porlo Indian Airlines (aami emniteo oder proti ektu shondigdho, kaaron ekhun oder naam theke 'Airlines' ta kaata geychhey). Chhuri-ka-ghaat-e aamar kono apotti nei shuney shom-o-showr-e shobaai phish phish kore bollo ''Maachhraanga'tey chortey. Aagey lok jon chhip phele bosh-e thaaktoh, ebong onek shomoy maachh portoh maachhraanga-r khoppor-e. Ekhun shunlaam lok jon maajh-aakash-e Maachhraanga-tey chhip phele boshey thaake. Eto jon ki kokhuno bhul hotey paare? Taai chokh bujey porey gelam raanga jobba-r khoppor-e.

Kingfisher flight gulo-r ekta boishisto achhey - before anyone complains, what I mean to say is prochur boishisto achhey, taar moddhey ektar kotha bolchhi ekhun, baaki kromosho prokashhyo - taa hochhe, ora jaake boley 'In-flight entertainment'. Proti-ti seat-er pechhone ekta kore TV fit kore dewa. Prothom shaari-tey jaara boshey taader kaachh theke ora kom poisha ney ki na jaani na - porer baar jene nebo! Taa jaai hok, flight-e uthtei ja dekhlaam, puro Writer's Building-er shaamner chottor-ta mone porey gelo. Charidik shudhu laal-e laal. Baam-ponthi oi rang-ta je orokom soothing balm-er kaaj korey jaantaam na! Koyekjon-er mukh diyeo laal jhorchhilo - kintu shei bishoy-e boktobbyo prokaash na korai bodhoy sreyo!

Kolkatay land kora maatroi bujhlam oi rang-er implication. Baairey tokhun tumul jhhawr-brishti. Go-mukkhu aami - 'Lull before the storm' kathata kheyaal-i chhilo na!

Taxi korey baari jaawa kaalin lokkhyo korlaam praay-i taxi maadhhya-korshon oggrajjhyo kore 'shaai shaai' kore upor dik-e uthey jachhe. Prothom-e bhaablaam Airport-er taxi, bodhoy chhoto-belaakar obhhyesh plane dekha, taai guliye felechhey. Tarpor dekhlaam 'O Hori!' Ek plate chowmien-er moto uraal-pool. Kintu ei Ural porbot kahan-tak rukhbey? Maajher-haat ekhun-o jomjomaat. Shei je haat-er maajhe thomke daarano, shey Maajher-haat-er jonmogoto odhikaar.

Shondheybela berolaam ektu. Aami konodin-i oi pandalism-e bishwashi chhilam na. Chhotobelay ek baar Puri gechhilam. Shekhane railway station-e oboteerno howa maatro panda-ra chhekey dhorechhilo. Nehaat-i aamader guide-er naam chhilo Mohish (uccharon-er dowsh - ota aasholey naaki 'Mahesh', porey jenechhilam), taai chhara peyechhilam. Kolkata-r Pujo mondop dekhlei aamar shei experience-tar kotha mone porey jaaye.

School life-e itihaash bishoy-ta aamar kokhunoi khub ekta priyo chhilo na. Shesh bench-e boshey aami beshir bhaag shomoy-tai 'nepo-y maare doi'-er shaathe Napoleon-er mishti-r proti durbolota-r kono shomporko achhey ki na, ei shob aadhhyaattik byapar-e moshgul hoye thaaktaam. Jaai hok, taao ja du-ekta naam mon-ey achhey taar modhhey ekta dekhlaam Delhi, Kolkata shomosto jaaygaay notun roop-e phire eshechhe. Aamar cheye jaanra itihaash-er iti oto aagey taanen-ni, taader nischoi mone achhe Ottoman shaamrajjyo-r kotha. Delhi aar Kolkatay ekhun choley 'Automan' shamrajjyo. Era jekono superhero-r cheye kom noy. Eder superpowers hochhe:
1. Mr. India-ke jemon laal kaanch (ghurey phirey aabar shei laal rang - very wrong!) diye dekha jeto, era hochhey inverse of Mr. India (shetar bhuri bhuri nidorshon hochhey oder bhunri). Era prokriti premik baa Maneka Gandhi-ke maane ki na jaani na, kintu shobuj-er proti eder aakorshon oporishim. Etotaai je, eraa laal-keo shobuj dekhe!
2. Eder duroh-drishti prokhor. Era Rashbehari-te daanriye aapnake boley debe je, Behala Thana-r shaamne emon jam, je boyaam-e kaancha aam niye boshley naaki taa baari pouchhotey pouchhotey aachaar hoye jachhe. Emon-i taader aachaar aachoron je na bishwaash kore upaay nei. Taa 'Upaay ki', aapni hoyto jiggyesh korlen. Uttor aashbe 'Tirish taaka'. Ekhanei shesh noy. Oi tirish hochhe per head. Auto-chaalok-er du side theke du-jon, onek shomoy teen-jon, besh shei tele-serial 'Ramayan'-er Kumbhokorno-r mukut-er dui shing-er moto beriye thaake, puro raasta.

Jaara Auto mode-e bishwaashi non, taader bhaggye achhe bus. Jaaraa SD-4-e chorechhen, taara hoyto next kichhu line porey mentally maatha naarben, aar jaara chowren-ni, taader jonno roilo bistarito biboron. SD-4 jodi Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar-er shomoy-e thakto, taholey, kshoma korben, kintu boltey baaddhyo hochhi, Vidyasagar babur shahittyik howa howe uthtoh na. Kaaron-ta jaanai. SD-4 joto naa raastay choley, taar cheye beshi choley footpath-e. Aar aami golpo shunechhi je Vidyasagar naaki onaar powra-shuno lamp-post-er aalo-r neechei shaarten.

Jaai hok. Ei SD-4-er khoppor-e ebaar aami porechhilam besh koyekbaar. Delhi-te thakakaalin besh sheet-o-taap niyontrito jaan-baahon-e chawrar obhiggyota achhe. SD-4-er 'S'-ta bodhoy 'Sauna'. Uthlen ki, prothom-e mon aan-chaan korbe. Taarpor kole-bor chaan korbe. Aar bus-er jhaakuni-r modhhey shei obhiggyotaa-r naam hochhe 'Jhhaki chaan'.

Aar jaara ei taxing time avoid kortey chaan, taader jonno achhey taxi. Aamar chhotobela-y ek dhoron-er putul pawa jeto (ekhuno hoyto pawa jaaye), taar komor-e ekta chaabi dewa thakto. Aamar je putul-ta chhilo, shetar chaabi ghoraley shey khonjoni baajato. Ekhunkaar Kolkata-r taxi-r meter hochhey oi putul-tar post modernist version. Ekbaar oi meter-er ghaar Rajesh Khanna holo ki aapnaar haath-e khonjoni!

Doshomi-r din aamra koyekjon decide korlaam je Pujo onek holo, ebaar pet pujo. Prothom-e bhaabaa holo Tangra jawa hobey, Chinese khete. Taa Doshomi-r din Tangra na hoye aamader moto Chuno-Punti-der bhaggye jutlo Park Street.

Park Street chottor-ta ekhun-o khub ekta paaltaaye ni. Shudhu maajhe shaajhe baakkye-r maajhe 'em' dash-er moto phaanka jaayga, shekhane naaki 'Mall' hobey. Haan Kolkata-r lok-der dekhlam ei ekta notun rog hoyechhe - jekhane shekhane 'Mall'-o-tyaag. Bus-er pechhoney aagey 'Only Vimal' lekha thaaktoh, ekhun 'Only SabMall'. Taa ei Mall-lo-yudhh-ey peeshtoh hochhe chhoto chhoto byaabshaa. Anyway, ei shob bhebey khub ekta laabh nei, e shob bojhar ba shonaar ba ei shob kothaye amall debaar lok praye nei bollei choley.

Pujo-r shaathe aami besh cinema-r mil pelaam. Kichhu chhobi jemon baanano hoy jaate taara Oscar-er jonno mononeetoh hoy, temon-i ebaar dekhlaam hirik porechhe 'Sharad Shamman'-er. Ek-kaal-e shudhu Filmfare award chhilo. Tokhun oi puroshkaar-tir kodor-o chhilo. Ekhun jemon paan moshla theke TV company shobaai kono ekta chhobi-ke proti bochhor taak kore oi Bhishma-r shor-o-shojja-r moto award-er chaador pete dey, temon-i hoyechhe Sharad Shamman. Aar shei prize pawar jonno clubs are coming up with one surprise after another.

Kothaye ekta shunlaam oi je shei 'The Prince who fell down the well and was rescued alive and well' ghotona-ta niye Pujo hoyechhe, ebong Prince naam-e chhele-ti naaki esheo chhilo. Thakur dekhtey giye kuo-te phele debe, emon kotha toh baba aami jommey shunini!

Howrah-te (of all places) ekta pandal baaniyechhilo, depicting one of the recent train accidents. Shunlaam prothom din ek neta otar udghaaton kortey eshe Nitish Kumar-ke gaal-mondo kore geychhen je onaar Ministry-te maati-r rail-o track-e thaake na!

Boyoshko-der maajhe boshley praay-i taader aapshosh shuntey paai, je, aajkaal manush kirokom mediye geychhey, baari bosh-e aar aapish korey med baariye nijeder bhetorkaar shakti-ke haapish korchhey. Icchey korchhilo, ei ender koyekjon-ke raastay ber koranor Pujo-r din-e - at any time of the day, noon, afternoon, evening, night or post midnight.

Orokom kataar-e kataar-e lok thaaye line bendhey daanriye achhey ekta Pujo dekhar jonno, shomosto jaan-baahon-er route paaltey dichhey sref daanriye theke - aagekaar din-e Non-cooperation Movement hoto, ekhun Non-movement-ei shohor kaat! E ki kom kotha?

Ebaar phire aasha-r din. Jawar shomoy aamake Delhi airport-e ek mohila shei Khiddirpur-er bus-er conductor jemon lishti chharey jaatri daaktey, maane shuney mon-e hoy bus-ta ek din-e eto jaaygaay jaaye ki kore, sheirokom ekta lishti porey shuniechhilen. Jaar shaar mormo ei je tumi jodi gel jaatiyo kichhu niye jaao hand baggage-e tomaar jail hotey paare. Toothpaste-o niye jachhina shuney, ektu teriye hesheo chhilen mone achhe.

Taa pherot aasha-r shomoy aami puro jele-ra jemon jaal phele maachh toley orokom bhaabe jinish potro niye aashchhilam - taai aar aamar angel-er moto haashite kaaj dito naa. Suitcase gelo X-Ray hotey. Aami gelaam security check-e.

Kolkata bimaan-bondor-er security check hochhey onek-ta oi 70s-er doshok-er Hindi chhobi-r Central Jail-er koyedi-der khabaar dewar scene-er moto. Duto checkpost (baa, whatever you call that chhotri-ola jaayga), irrespective of the number of airlines and number of flights leaving at any moment of time.

Aamar aagey porey prochur lok taander boarding pass-ke, oi shei cinema-r premier show-er pass dekhiye jemon lok-e aagey dhukey jaaye hall-er moddhey, shei poddhoti obolombon koraar chesta korechhilo. Kintu bifawl holo. Jodi baa kono motey pouchholen checkpost-er dhaare kaachhey hothat niyom paaltey gelo - ebaar mohila-der aagey chhara hobe! Ebaar dekhao, ki dekhabe!

Aaro hyapa. ATM counter-e jemon lekha thaake je ek-er beshi dui-ti noy, temon-i ekhaneo ekta olikhitoh niyom achhey. Ekta line taana achhey, taar beyond-e ekjon maatro jete paare. Aami line maaratey bora-bor-i opotu. Taai sheta khunjtey giye prothom-e khelaam bawka. Taarpor jodi baa daak porlo, aami line dhorey haanthtey haanthtey 'dhoraam' kore kisher ektaar shaathe jeno dhakka khelaam. Chokh tuley taakiye dekhi, oi shei Olympics-e jokhun medal dey tokhun winners-ra jemon chouko type-er haathbaaksho gochher jinish-er opor uthey daanraye, sherokom ekta baaksho. Otatey uthtei aamar kirokom aabeg eshe gelo. Money porey gelo Comaneci, Spitz, Daley Thompson. Aabar dhawmok!